The note I received when I opened up my MacBook

When I first got my MacBook it came with this note. I thought nothing of it at the time, but looking back it makes sense:

PLEASE HELP! WE ARE BEING HELD HOSTAGE IN APPLE FACTORIES FOR LABOR! WE ARE BEING PAID NOTHING BUT MINIMAL RATIONS AND THE CONDITIONS HAVE HURT OUR FRAGILE DEVELOPING BODIES! STEVE JOBS HAS TOLD US THAT HE WILL EAT US TO GROW HIS POWER IF WE DO NOT WORK HARD ENOUGH!

ALSO, IF YOU HAVE ANY ISSUES WITH YOUR MAC PLEASE TAKE IT TO THE LOCAL GENIUS BAR AND THEY WILL SET IT RIGHT UP FOR YOU! CUSTOMER SERVICE IS OUR MAIN PRIORITY!

BUT SERIOUSLY HELP US!

I didn't see anything about a rebate, so I threw it away.